Friday, June 12, 2009

Sending this into cyberspace...

A is for adjustments.

Adjustments have been keeping me from posting - that and facebook! What a time-sucker!

The neighborhood work is nearly dormant. Garden is being taken over by weeds and renegade grass. Graduation and reception are over. Ben has a new girlfriend that makes the corners of his mouth nearly touch his ears. Jess is on the other side of the state working through her issues and attending school. I have a new job at a residential treatment program for women either expecting children, with them, or trying to get them back. I am trying to get things situated in Northern Minnesota as much as possible at this time. I have been awarded a fellowship for $5000/semester to pay living expenses. My broker keeps trying to get in touch with me to put my $$ in my IRA. I sold high and am waiting for another drop. The first monies I dragged my feet getting to him were withdrawn from my 401k high and put in my IRA low netting the best growth he has seen. This last chunk from my other 401k was sold high - he called with that information and is calling, calling, calling wanting me to deposit it. Nothing prompts my procrastination more than persistent annoyances.

Work is probably the newsworthiest piece I have. I sincerely like nearly everyone I work with and can find positives in all the clients I have met.

We have huffers, meth addicts and all are alcoholics as well. Two of the newcomers were using while they were pregnant. One of the huffers likely has brain damage. One of the girls was sexually abused at age 3. Atrocities to these women and their children appear to be the norm. Native American women have children living with various relatives. Grandmas seem to be the caregivers of their grandchildren unless they are using, then aunts and cousins will do. Sometimes the family members with the children are also using, but have no experience with the legal or social services systems.

A few of the women are counting on their unborn children to keep them clean and provide them with hope. The children that are with their moms at the facility are not well-behaved by the lowest of standards. Thank goodness they are all preschoolers. Their short stature allows adults some authoritative leverage over them. This is not to say they are not aware of retaliatory measures such as hitting, kicking, biting and spitting.

One child there was the best behaved little almost-two-year-old that I have ever seen. My own children paled in comparison. He could speak clearly and would play quietly. He seldom engaged with the other children, but would look on in disbelief at their behavior. He had such a tiny mouth and large eyes. I would watch him in amazement. I would also compliment both him and his mother on his behavior. He could also dribble a ball better than most adults I know! The very day I was going to approach his mom and talk with her about his gifted behavior, I came in to find that they had left the night before. They left because "Taz" (my nickname for the biter) bit him in the chest, breaking the skin. This was not the first time he had been abused by "Taz". He was so quiet if I had not been observing him, I wouldn't have known this to happen. Although his mom appeared not to be ready for the commitment of sobriety, it was disheartening to see them go. She did take photos of his injuries that I am sure she will have to present to DSS to explain why she did not stay.

Taz's mom seems clueless to the wonders of parenting. The first day he was there, he could open the heavy doors to get out of the building - and he did. After a rather complicated child safety mechanism was added to the door, I watched him quickly figure out the mechanics and free himself again.

The store, aka gas station convenience store is the favorite haunt of all the women. We had an outburst from one of the women there today because all of the food there is full of carbs and not good for us. I agree with her there, but she quickly loses the argument when we go to "the store" and she purchases chips and pop. Before we left for the store tonight, I told her that I need to get a list from her of the food she would like us to have.

One of the girls there is nearly popping with child. She is incredibly uncomfortable. She is such a unique personality. At first I thought she was a rough girl, and maybe she is, but not to me. Of all the girls, she is the farthest in her treatment and the most accepting of life there. I have to tease her about not going into labor on my shift.

Another girl that I tease could deliver at any time now. She is 29 and 1/2 weeks along and already dilating and effaced. Her 2 year-old came at 28 weeks and spent a great deal of time in the NICU. She is such a pleasant person.

Almost more interesting to watch than the clients, are the staff. Of all the staff we have, the least understanding of the reality of the group dynamics are the counselors. One of them is more apt to snap at us than a client we reprimand. Neither one of them communicate case histories prior to client arrival.

One of the staff is a Native American woman who seems very adept at what she does. Unlike the rest of us, she has no formal education. One of the most knowledgeable staff is the most negative. She doesn't think that any of them will make it or have what it takes to raise their children. Although she gets frustrated with the children's behaviors, she doesn't realize that she is the one that riles them up. We have a volunteer that is an Iraqi war veteran with full compensation. She suffers from migraines and I am guessing PTSD. I have only worked with her twice, but I look forward to working with her again. She is interesting to talk to. Actually, all of them are interesting to talk to.

Two of the people I work with seem to have fun getting everyone else to do their running. I guess it is grunt work. The intern I work with has been subjected to this as well. As in all 24/7 work groups, there is the usual between shift assumptions. The night shift assumes that the day shift doesn't do much and vice versa.

After training on all shifts, I have also found that each staff member has rules they firmly enforce and those they are more lenient with. This creates the usual confusion for the rookies. One of them goes through the medi-aide binder to check for mistakes made by coworkers. Another gets upset if the clients go to their rooms. One of them writes IRs (incident reports) on women that prop their baby's bottle or are in bed with the mom. One of them gets irate if they lay down during the day.
What I do see in the work group is a unique mixture of people each with their own specialized benefit to the program.

Overall, it seems like mass confusion. I so far have found that the worst part of the job is attempting to watch the children while the moms are in group. It is like trying to lasso a swarm of bees! My favorite part of the job is coming to work and having children run up excitedly to greet me. Especially when they hold their arms up for me to pick them up. I also like speaking with the clients and hearing about their past.

The most upsetting part was when one of the women was discharged. She had federal charges against her and is looking forward to - at the very least - two years in federal prison. She was the best mom we had there. She has bonded with her children - one of whom is a newborn - and seems the most likely to succeed.