Parking Headaches

If you read my previous post, you read about the maze that I go through to get from the parking garage to the office. I guess I shouldn't complain. I do not envy those who pay up to $50/month for guaranteed parking spots elsewhere around the building. Although those that get to park inside the garage adjoining the building have it made. They have been with the county for 30 years or more. Thankfully, when my coworkers are on vacation, they notify me so I may park in their spots. How nice!

There are some that park on the hill. Sidewalks and streets in the winter have been less than desirable for walking. One should bring skates, sled or toboggan to get the most out of the experience. I think they put chains on their shoes to get up the hills. They are San Francisco steep. Only San Francisco doesn't have ice and snow.

UMD has a rather profitable enterprise for their parking system. They sell maroon parking passes for $140 a semester. Get there quick, they say, so you can get one. It has been revealed that they sell more maroon passes than they have parking spaces for. This leaves a mess with the parking situation there as there is no guarantee that you will find a maroon parking spot. You may still have to pay to park in the pay lot. It is $2 per entry to get a spot there. However, often the lot is full. One of my classmates waited 2 hours for a parking spot. They also have parking meters. They are very predatorial with their ticketing practices. You can bet that they you will have a ticket if you are 5 minutes over.

Despite their parking nightmare, UMD continues to build new buildings in their current parking lots. It appears they have no room to expand outside their current boundaries, so they expand within their boundaries. Just outside the campus are parking spots that are available only to residents. None of this new construction includes a parking garage. Apparently they believe it would be an eye-sore. I don't think they have looked at their current buildings if they came to that conclusion.

After my umpteenth experience with parking perils at UMD, I vented to the class that was not yet in session about the parking situation. It is a common gripe. The teacher responded that UMD wants people to take the city bus. (Must be another business venture of theirs.) I responded that I would be happy to if they travel to Two Harbors to pick me up - they don't - and don't make allowances for commuter or ancient students, either. Finally we decided to hold class off campus. The teacher was fine with it and we were ecstatic with it, so we did it! Now it is so much less stressful! Wow! The things you have to do to reduce stress!

The Maze

My first day interning at St. Louis County Department of Health and Human Services possessed the usual discomfort one experiences at a new place, yet with some that I had never experienced before. I couldn't find any of the free parking spots that I was told about. These spots are atop a steep hill that the Government Services Building sits midway on. They were all taken. So, I checked out the parking garage I was also told about. I found a spot, inserted a handful of quarters and wondered how I would get from the garage - point A - to the Government Services Building - point B.

I knew I could see where I was going from the outside but wasn't too sure about how to get there from the inside. Going in and out of buildings just didn't seem right. Walking outside the courthouse, I was told to stop. I had to wait for a chain of prisoners to go by and get safely in the building with their guards and the vehicle to leave before I could pass. Construction left me walking outside of barricades onto busy streets. Pray then run! Pray then run! Finally I got to the right building. l asked my coworkers about this and found that there is indeed a system to doing this. Now I have it down pat! In fact I have even tweaked it so it is more efficient.

Here is the routine:
Keep walking through each instruction - except the elevators, of course.
Park on level 4 of the garage.
Walk to the doorway of the garage.
Open door 1
Enter small enclosure.
Open door 2
Walk across the skywalk to the courthouse.
Open door and turn left immediately.
Press the down button on the elevator.
Enter the elevator and press M.
Enter the main floor cafeteria/break room that was once a coffee shop.
Proceed across cafeteria to door.
Open door 1 (Caution, door swings both ways)
Open door 2 (Tunnel to City Hall)
Breathe in aroma of mold.
Open door 3 (glass door says that it will be locked at 5:15)
Go through cement floor tunnel that sometimes appears to have vomit on it. Painted in a delightful institutional gray.
Turn right.
Turn left.
Pass door with boxes of architectural drawings of city.
Pass police dressing room, evidence room...
Pass through doorway where cement ends and marble floor begins.
Walk to the middle of the room take a left at the elevators and push up button.
Upon entering the elevator, press 1
When exiting the elevator, take a right.
Take another right when you reach the verigated spider plants in the oversized planters.
Walk through the atrium to the skywalk.
Open door and proceed through skywalk.
Open door at the end of skywalk.
Enter hallway of govt services building.
Walk down ramping tiled floor to main floor.
Turn right, walk 2/3 of the way down to the elevators...etc.

On a good day with the timing just right on the elevators, I can make it in 10 minutes.

I often pass the same people going the other way and wonder if we should trade parking spots.

A Hole in My Heart

I have a load of homework to do, but I feel like I have to get this off my chest because my heart is hurting.

After Jess was sent to Custer, Brian and I became proactive in preventive measures for her return. One of the actions we took was enrolling in a parenting class that is often required by DSS when parents would like their children in custody, returned to them. It was one of the best classes I have ever taken. Brian, too. It is Common Sense Parenting. The program is based on and the instructors are trained by Boy's Town. I would recommend it to all parents regardless if they are having parenting problems or not. It is $45 and Brian and I each got a copy of the book, Common Sense Parenting.

In one of the classes, we were given a sheet that showed us behaviors of children when raised in homes that are too strict, moderate, and too lenient. On that sheet of paper, I saw three children. Nick, Ben and Jess - in that order. We were never shown what to do once you already f@#$ed up and your kid is an adult.

I think of my children every day. But when I think of Nick, my heart drops. Raising Nick was tumultuous to say the least. He was so very angry from 5th grade on. I can think back to everything - the divorce, Brian and Jess coming into the family, holding him when he was a baby...the list goes on. At what point did I lose him?

I tried so hard with him. We went to three different counselors trying to find one that could help us. This kid is intelligent, but for some reason, he gave up on grades and turned instead to friends that were so unlike him, with the exception of their need to be different from the mainstream.

Graduation was a heartbreak. He didn't pass the classes needed in time to graduate. His diploma was empty at graduation and I was sad. It was too late to cancel, but I didn't want to throw him a reception. I didn't feel at all celebratory and he just kept jabbing me. One week or less before graduation he shaved his head. After graduation he had to attend summer classes to get the signed diploma. He was coming home at odd hours and gone a lot. He was fired from his job at Walgreens and I don't know what to believe happened there or at the next job. It was never Nick's fault. Nothing ever was. I was getting too stressed out about his behavior. At one point, I talked to Mike and told him that Nick could move in with him. Mike's agreement to that was done in such a way that Mike seemed to be laughing at me, implying that he wouldn't have any problems with Nick at all. That changed in about two weeks, when Nick began stopping over more and complaining about his dad - in the same way he complained about me. Mike also began admitting that Nick was a problem for him as well. He had found booze in Nick's car and we found out that Nick looking older than 18, was furnishing alcohol for high school kids.

Soon, Nick came forward and told me (because Mike said he would tell me if Nick didn't) that he got his first DUI. His dad bailed him out. Nick got an attorney and had the charge reduced to reckless driving. Nick didn't pay his fine, however, and soon warrants were issued for his arrest...

I fell into the trap this last July when Nick was picked up for another outstanding warrant for a traffic ticket. It was a Sunday. I got a call from Nick and he was in jail. He needed to be bailed out so he wouldn't lose his job for being in jail. He promised that he would pay me back. Of course, he paid part of it and I haven't seen him since.

I hurt. Nick didn't stop by to say good-bye before I moved away. I haven't spoken with him since the beginning of August. There is a hole in my heart and a yearning to reach out... I guess when I made the decision to move I thought that it might just help Nick. I know that I have been villified since he was in high school, so I thought if I left, it might help heal that wound that he seems to have where I am concerned. I was (and am) hoping that he will no longer have to rebel against someone who isn't in the same town. There is no longer a reason to feel guilty for not seeing me because I am too far away. I really hope that Nick will turn around. I worry about him. Maybe I am giving it too much thought. Regardless, I am his mother, full of guilt, worry, hope, grief...

Weather Or Not It Is Better in Two Harbors

Back in Sioux Falls, when I mentioned that I was moving to Two Harbors, people would tell me how cold it is here. They would tell me how awful the winters were. So, I decided to do a bit of research using historical averages. Okay you South Dakotans, here it is:

Two Harbors average January high temp is 22.5 as opposed to Sioux Falls' 25.2 degrees. However, The average January low temp is 5 degrees in Two Harbors and 2.9 in Sioux Falls. July temps in Sioux Falls average a high of 85.6 and a low of 60.3. In Two Harbors the July average high is 73.6 and low is 53.4.

I like the cool weather. I will gladly take a summer here over one in Sioux Falls any day. I just cannot tolerate the heat more than I cannot tolerate the cold.

My commute

I keep getting asked by people how the commute is from Two Harbors to UMD. It is horrid. Right after Two Harbors city limits I run into expressway. An expressway that is lined with trees on either side. There is no construction. On my left is Lake Superior, visible from the expressway beyond the forest. After this hideous view, the expressway ends and I am forced to drive on London Road. London Road is notorious for its rough characters of old. Robber Barron's, they were called. The financial gangsters of yesteryear. Such historic mansions exemplify the gains of those who took the chance to gamble on such new fangled things as railroads and coal and iron ore. Another I believe gambled on chickens. I believe it is Tyson. The gang symbols used on the great fence surrounding that gang turf are chickens. Mansion after mansion I pass until I hit 21st street. This is a lower class neighborhood that is home to smaller but also exquisite manses. Only through this route do I run into road construction. On Woodlawn avenue, I am forced to stop at stop signs, allowing me to have further inspection of the architecture of each abode.

So, while the rest of you are complaining about your commutes, think of poor me up here suffering up here with such hideous surroundings.

Just Get in and Drive

I remember when I first began driving. I would get in the car and drive. Nothing to it. That was it.

Then driving became something of a phobia. Yeah, probably after I rolled my car and purchased the subsequent crappy failing vehicles. I discovered a few things probably a lot faster than most other people without this kind of history.

First, accidents happen fast and at the most inopportune time. For me it was when my sister was in the hospital, my dad was out of town and I was on my way to a farm in NE instead of at the Fryn' Pan like I told my mom. I hit loose gravel and the car went out of control, rolled three times (they said) and landed in a ditch. I remember (and wrote a paper on) perception related to this experience. Helpless laughter as the car careened left, then right, then left, then right... It seemed the tiniest movement of the steering wheel yielded a greater response than anticipated. Looking at the speedometer. Then in slow, very slow motion, dirt, glass, dirt, reflection of the headlights against the weeds, unable to orient myself to what was happening, then stopped in a cloud of dust. I remember trying to start the car and grinding the starter. The engine was still going. I called for my friend. She called for me. We got out and began walking different directions. Then we found the road and headed towards the brightest lights we could see in the rural night sky. A yellow Monte Carlo approached and the man asked if we were okay. We didn't know. Yes, we needed a ride. We got in. If I recall correctly, he first drove to the accident site before taking us to the bar so we could call for help. (For the youngins, that was before the car phone was invented. Back in the day of the pay phone)
I didn't notice until after I got out of the car and he began brushing the dirt and glass off the seat that we must have been filthy with the dust, dirt and glass that flew at us. There was a group gasp when we walked into the bar. I could hear people's individual comments and one lady came over and helped us out. I now feel sorry for my mom taking the call telling her what happened. At the time, I was pretty miserable, suffering from welts and bruises and the loss of my cherished first car. I recall crying a lot for awhile. I was in disbelief for a few days afterwards.

After that car perished, it was quite awhile before I the next one. That was a fire engine red Dodge Dart with an iridescent dashboard. I purchased it for $500 from some kid from Sisseton that fixed it up himself. I am sure he chuckles about our buying that piece of work to this day. The circular marks from the buffer/sander on the cars finish should have been a big red light. The car was not reliable. Everytime I shut it off, it was likely a jump start would be needed to get it going again. When I took it to the garage to get a turn signal fixed, the mechanic laughed and said that I wouldn't want to put that much money into the car. One nice winter morning I scored a ticket and towing charge because I couldn't get it off the street before the police officer (also my neighbor a couple doors down) could ticket it. When I started it, that day, the throttle stuck to the floor and I thought it would explode it was revved so high. I don't know, nor do I care where that one went, but good riddance!

Regardless the piece of junk I owned, I never had confidence in the vehicles out on the highway. I was afraid of being stranded or losing control. If it was out of town, I didn't want to go unless someone else was driving, but still then, I couldn't relax until I was off the road and back on solid ground. Getting stranded in Omaha when the transmission failed didn't help matters. Bad roads felt like flat tires. What if a semi blew a tire in front of me? Gravel, forget it! Honestly, it wasn't until last fall, after about a month or so driving back and forth to Vermillion to complete my bachelor's that I became more comfortable driving. Still, it is never just get in and drive.

Sending this into cyberspace...

A is for adjustments.

Adjustments have been keeping me from posting - that and facebook! What a time-sucker!

The neighborhood work is nearly dormant. Garden is being taken over by weeds and renegade grass. Graduation and reception are over. Ben has a new girlfriend that makes the corners of his mouth nearly touch his ears. Jess is on the other side of the state working through her issues and attending school. I have a new job at a residential treatment program for women either expecting children, with them, or trying to get them back. I am trying to get things situated in Northern Minnesota as much as possible at this time. I have been awarded a fellowship for $5000/semester to pay living expenses. My broker keeps trying to get in touch with me to put my $$ in my IRA. I sold high and am waiting for another drop. The first monies I dragged my feet getting to him were withdrawn from my 401k high and put in my IRA low netting the best growth he has seen. This last chunk from my other 401k was sold high - he called with that information and is calling, calling, calling wanting me to deposit it. Nothing prompts my procrastination more than persistent annoyances.

Work is probably the newsworthiest piece I have. I sincerely like nearly everyone I work with and can find positives in all the clients I have met.

We have huffers, meth addicts and all are alcoholics as well. Two of the newcomers were using while they were pregnant. One of the huffers likely has brain damage. One of the girls was sexually abused at age 3. Atrocities to these women and their children appear to be the norm. Native American women have children living with various relatives. Grandmas seem to be the caregivers of their grandchildren unless they are using, then aunts and cousins will do. Sometimes the family members with the children are also using, but have no experience with the legal or social services systems.

A few of the women are counting on their unborn children to keep them clean and provide them with hope. The children that are with their moms at the facility are not well-behaved by the lowest of standards. Thank goodness they are all preschoolers. Their short stature allows adults some authoritative leverage over them. This is not to say they are not aware of retaliatory measures such as hitting, kicking, biting and spitting.

One child there was the best behaved little almost-two-year-old that I have ever seen. My own children paled in comparison. He could speak clearly and would play quietly. He seldom engaged with the other children, but would look on in disbelief at their behavior. He had such a tiny mouth and large eyes. I would watch him in amazement. I would also compliment both him and his mother on his behavior. He could also dribble a ball better than most adults I know! The very day I was going to approach his mom and talk with her about his gifted behavior, I came in to find that they had left the night before. They left because "Taz" (my nickname for the biter) bit him in the chest, breaking the skin. This was not the first time he had been abused by "Taz". He was so quiet if I had not been observing him, I wouldn't have known this to happen. Although his mom appeared not to be ready for the commitment of sobriety, it was disheartening to see them go. She did take photos of his injuries that I am sure she will have to present to DSS to explain why she did not stay.

Taz's mom seems clueless to the wonders of parenting. The first day he was there, he could open the heavy doors to get out of the building - and he did. After a rather complicated child safety mechanism was added to the door, I watched him quickly figure out the mechanics and free himself again.

The store, aka gas station convenience store is the favorite haunt of all the women. We had an outburst from one of the women there today because all of the food there is full of carbs and not good for us. I agree with her there, but she quickly loses the argument when we go to "the store" and she purchases chips and pop. Before we left for the store tonight, I told her that I need to get a list from her of the food she would like us to have.

One of the girls there is nearly popping with child. She is incredibly uncomfortable. She is such a unique personality. At first I thought she was a rough girl, and maybe she is, but not to me. Of all the girls, she is the farthest in her treatment and the most accepting of life there. I have to tease her about not going into labor on my shift.

Another girl that I tease could deliver at any time now. She is 29 and 1/2 weeks along and already dilating and effaced. Her 2 year-old came at 28 weeks and spent a great deal of time in the NICU. She is such a pleasant person.

Almost more interesting to watch than the clients, are the staff. Of all the staff we have, the least understanding of the reality of the group dynamics are the counselors. One of them is more apt to snap at us than a client we reprimand. Neither one of them communicate case histories prior to client arrival.

One of the staff is a Native American woman who seems very adept at what she does. Unlike the rest of us, she has no formal education. One of the most knowledgeable staff is the most negative. She doesn't think that any of them will make it or have what it takes to raise their children. Although she gets frustrated with the children's behaviors, she doesn't realize that she is the one that riles them up. We have a volunteer that is an Iraqi war veteran with full compensation. She suffers from migraines and I am guessing PTSD. I have only worked with her twice, but I look forward to working with her again. She is interesting to talk to. Actually, all of them are interesting to talk to.

Two of the people I work with seem to have fun getting everyone else to do their running. I guess it is grunt work. The intern I work with has been subjected to this as well. As in all 24/7 work groups, there is the usual between shift assumptions. The night shift assumes that the day shift doesn't do much and vice versa.

After training on all shifts, I have also found that each staff member has rules they firmly enforce and those they are more lenient with. This creates the usual confusion for the rookies. One of them goes through the medi-aide binder to check for mistakes made by coworkers. Another gets upset if the clients go to their rooms. One of them writes IRs (incident reports) on women that prop their baby's bottle or are in bed with the mom. One of them gets irate if they lay down during the day.
What I do see in the work group is a unique mixture of people each with their own specialized benefit to the program.

Overall, it seems like mass confusion. I so far have found that the worst part of the job is attempting to watch the children while the moms are in group. It is like trying to lasso a swarm of bees! My favorite part of the job is coming to work and having children run up excitedly to greet me. Especially when they hold their arms up for me to pick them up. I also like speaking with the clients and hearing about their past.

The most upsetting part was when one of the women was discharged. She had federal charges against her and is looking forward to - at the very least - two years in federal prison. She was the best mom we had there. She has bonded with her children - one of whom is a newborn - and seems the most likely to succeed.

Can you hear it ticking?

It's politicking.  If there are two things that I dread, they are politics and as Obama says, "backbiting".  I feel that I will walk the fine line here.  

When a group of people is working towards a common goal...Hmm...When you are trying to do good things...uh.  When for the last 15 years you have led a group of people...  Harumph!  When you have been instrumental in fostering positive change...crap.  When a religious leader walks in and in the name of...  When all along you have developed relationships within your community and are finally beginning to see the fruits...okay...When you are pushing the broad side of a barn door up a hill and finally get to the top and someone emerges takes the barn door and holds it victoriously above his religious head...but it's not about me, I am glad that the barn door made it to the top of that hill. Since you aren't affiliated with the church and he is... I mean...you would appear so negative to criticize...you can't say anything...

...well, you know what I mean...

It's been too long!

It has been too long since I have posted on this blog.  I have my neighborhood blog that is more indicative of my activities of late.  I have posted my downtown Sioux Falls photos as well as some on the demolition of the homes in the neighborhood.  I have also been on the timesucker Facebook, staying in touch with old friends that have now become current.

I have almost resigned myself to my state of unemploy.  Despite this, I keep quite busy with the neighborhood work.  I have been asked by one of the council members to do a show on the neighborhood and volunteerism in general.  This will air on City Link, probably in June.  

My volunteerism has also expanded to improving neighborhood education, specifically, Native American education.  It is unbelievable that they don't teach teachers the cultural differences in teaching Native children.  My goal is to bring the culture into the school, and celebrate and embrace it so Native American families will begin to feel comfortable with the institution of school in our city.  I have proposed Lowell as the pilot school.  It is also the pilot school for Urban Agriculture.

Feels So Right

Yesterday I went on a job shadow.  I admit I was scared at first.  

The last human services job shadow I did was heart wrenching.  I went to a facility where they take care of kids with developmental disabilities.  I thought it would be a good fit.  Reading over the materials the place sounded great - sounded like a facility where I might send my children if they had the same conditions as these children.  The reality was different.  After I walked through the plush child-centered foyer, we went through security door after security door to get to the living area of these children.  We spent the time chasing down children performing task after task.  The person I was shadowing seemed somewhat harsh and unfeeling towards the children.  After force feeding the children, and cleaning up, I asked for her to show me the behavior plan that she was supposed to do with each of the children.  Each one had their own three ring binder.  She seemed annoyed with the request, but went through the motions quickly.  She was the most senior staff, having been there three months.  I left there and cried.

The shadow I did yesterday was completely different.  The person I was shadowing didn't need a three ring binder to tell her what to do with the children.  The children were allowed to have personalities.  One of the staff was even there sitting with the children on her day off!!!  It was NOT mechanical, but natural.  I was so impressed.  I could see the beauty of each child and wanted to know each one of them better.  

Knowing their histories - and their futures - perhaps it would be better not to become attached.  These are the kids whose legal guardians are the state of SD.  These are the kids who at 18 are thrown out into the world to fend for themselves.  Someone has to have hope for them.  I just hope it isn't too late.    

A Break...Or will I allow it?

Finally, after a whirlwind semester, followed by graduation, then finals (I know!), and grad school application deadlines, I have a break!

Oh, what to do next?! Such luxurious (boredom?)... I have a list of the things I have wanted to do FOREVER, or so it seems. Read, paint, learn French, clean, journal, draw, go on a photo shoot, spruce up the neighborhood blog, play with photoshop, watch all the movies I have missed, brush the dogs, meet with family, scan old photos, weed out, cook, bake, exercise, organize, sleep, drink wine, learn to crochet etc. The list doesn't end.

I have wanted to do all these things, yet I told myself, "not until you are done with your work." Now have I forgotten how to play? I am in need of some good books that will draw my attention and suck me in. My old favorites aren't pulling me in like they did. I am so easily distracted with guilt after all this time. I think I have forgotten.

I will soon be employed somewhere. Even so, I am not used to working full-time without going to school, too. So, where do I start to relax, enjoy things I used to, learn some new things at my own pace?

Next week the dance card begins to fill up. I have at least 7 appointments. Perhaps more as more calls are returned. I would like to put some time into a hobby or some leisure activity. How do I start?

Happy New Year!!!

What would the new year be without 6 patrol cars, a fire engine and an ambulance?  This was the scene this morning when it was time to walk the dogs.  When we approached the apartment, an officer was cautiously approaching with his hand on his holster.  Shortly after, his backup arrived.  They then approached and entered the building.  The story from the rowdy kids outside was that a man broke out a window with his hand and was holding his stomach and there was blood everywhere.  Fifteen minutes later, a man with a white gauzed hand walked outside escorted by officers and EMTs.  Excitement over.