Anne Hedonia
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As the holiday season progresses and I get more disenchanted, I think about a word that I learned in abnormal psyche. I never knew the word existed!!! Anhedonia. The opposite of hedonia, or hedonism. I think about my affection for the macabre and wonder...I think about my need to first get this done then I'll have fun...Well, the "this" list grows and the fun seldom happens...
So, I try to define fun. "Fun" is elusive. If I think I am having "fun" the shock hits me and the "fun" seems to fade. I can overanalyze happy. I think about something my father said about "cruising Broadway" in Yankton when I was a teen. He summed it up by saying that it was a bunch of kids driving around in circles. What is the purpose? Listen to the deflation... What about the amusement park? You stand in line for so long for a ride that lasts but a few minutes. Fun, maybe, if you don't puke, but worth it?? I guess the same could be said for sex. Except for the puking part.
So, anyway, how does anhedonia apply to Christmas? There is all the build up and then you find out that half your family won't even be there. Your kids are teens and don't believe in Santa nor do they have those cute squeaky voices of awe when they come downstairs and see the magic. But then again, you get to see your family. It is never enough. Those wonderful short glimpses of time that you spend together are so cherished and rare...and gone in a flash. Anhedonia.
Santa, I want fun for Christmas. Guilt-free, family-filled, squeaky-little-voice fun. I will leave out cookies and milk- and perhaps my famous caramel corn- and a big spot under the tree. I have been good.
1 comment:
Hmmm. . . I've never heard this term, btw. I believe I'm more hedonistic, although I do understand that need to get things done first - however, if the fun is irresistable, I will take the fun whenever I can, even if I have to put off responsibilities.
Perhaps it's how susceptible one is to good old-fashioned guilt. I dealt with this quite a bit back in college when I tried to be sexually "free" - though there's always some boundary or line/wall - but simulataneously had to deal with my Christain/Catholic upbringing, my mother's strong sexual prudence and judgment of anyone who wasn't. . .
I think it comes down to the fact that our culture and society has deep puritanical roots and we are conditioned to deprive ourselves of fun and cherish "work". Keeping busy with work keeps one from indulging in "useless" or "senseless" pastimes like cruising, or sex.
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